Last month, we hosted our first ever Ellivate Expand retreat!! Fourteen of us gathered in Sedona for the first time ever. Not only was our retreat expansive (as intended!), it was connective, magical and transformative. The me that left Sedona on May 4 was a different person than the one who arrived on April 30.
As I headed to Sedona on April 30, I felt anxious, weary, and a bit burdened with all the preparatory to-dos. In addition to working through some of my own challenges, I had also been supporting several people with theirs over the past few weeks. Yet, I was determined to “power through it,” so I could do whatever was necessary to host a successful Ellivate event.
On Day 1 of the experience, we set intentions for what we wanted most from our time together – for ourselves and one another. My intention was to expand, grow and support myself and Ellivate in a more sustainable way. As I reflected on my intention, I realized I wasn’t just here to support my Ellivate sisters. I was here to support myself. I needed clarity, connection, and help. I needed to feel lighter and let go of the burdens I was carrying. I needed to rekindle the energy, excitement, and joy I feel for Ellivate and the amazing community we’re building together.
Well, I’m thrilled to report I received everything I asked for and more! Yes, I did some hard, deep work over the three days, but I could do it because I felt held, nourished and supported by my Ellivate sisters. And, it wasn’t all hard work! I had so much fun laughing, dancing, and playing with my Ellivate sisters in one of my favorite places in the world!
The retreat was so incredible that I found it a bit challenging to integrate back into my normal, day to day life. As excited as I was to get home and see my son and two pups, I also felt sad upon my return.
Upon reflection, I realized I wasn’t prepared to feel such a big shift from being physically surrounded by love and support for five days and then jumping right back into life as a single mom, taking care of all the things on my own. Oh, how I yearned for that warm cocoon we created together in Sedona! I quickly went from feeling deeply connected to myself and my Ellivate sisters to feeling disconnected.
It’s completely normal and human to experience these moments of disconnection. So, how do we reconnect with ourselves and one another when this happens?
I’ll share what I’ve been practicing over the past month to reconnect with myself and others, in hopes this could support you in your own moments of disconnection.
- I ask for help more often and release feelings of shame or guilt for doing so. I am learning to let go of the details. Things don’t always have to be done my way. Other people can do them differently (and perhaps even better ).
- I remind myself I’m not alone. Even when I am physically alone, I know that my Ellivate sisters are with me. The energy we create together remains. The preciousness of our connection is long-lasting.
- I remind myself I don’t have to get it all done perfectly today. I just need to do enough.
- I choose me (thank you, Fatima Mann), so I can show up more fully for the people I love and support. I ask myself in any given moment, “What do I want? What do I need?” I do my best to say no when something doesn’t feel aligned for me. I am working on saying yes to myself, instead of always saying yes to others.
- I drink water, rest, and do my best to take care of myself.
- I re-commit to daily practices that support me, like the grounding power of my morning meditation, gratitude, and prayer practice.
- I extend forgiveness and grace to myself. These are big changes for me, and it takes time. I won’t always get it right. I remind myself that I’m doing my best in any given moment.
The time I spent with my sisters in Sedona last month meant everything to me. The work we do together uplifts all of us, even those who aren’t physically with us.
Thank you for being a part of our journey. I look forward to continuing to expand ourselves, our businesses, and this community. Together, we are changing the world.
With deep love and gratitude,